Angels, Demons and a Moving Truck
Two blogs in one day? I guess this is what happens when you get up to your body's alarm clock, huh? I was going to hold off and write tomorrow, but I figured if the inspiration was there I should go for it. No more rules and regulations, please.

So here I am packing up my life once again. My kitchen is almost complete and I don't have a whole lot else to worry about other than my bedroom and that's easy. I got rid of so much stuff in my July move that I've downsized quite a bit already. Which is the big perk of moving for me. I get more and more spartan (which is a life goal of mine) each and every time.

As I'm dancing around to showtunes (thanks Standing Room Only) and taping box after box, I can't help but feel that nagging gut-wrenching feeling that always accompanies a new apartment. I don't know what it is about moving, but the whole process really traps me inside of my own head. And I'm excited about this move-don't get me wrong. But it's bringing up lots of baggage.

Last week at work we each had to pick an angel out of a glass bowl. (we work with terminally ill patients every day-please excuse the touchy-feely-ness). I was really hoping for certain words-trust, healing, cleansing.-that I felt as though I truly needed in that moment. What I picked was "adventure." And I was not happy. This was not the word that I needed to reflect on or have perspective on at this point. Or so I thought...

But as this crazy life continues to teach me, what we want, or think that we need, is simply not what we really need. Frustrated, I put my little Adventure Angel in my planner and went about by life. And now, faced with another uprooting...another huge change that I simple wasn't ready for, it has hit me. She is the exact angel for me. There have been so many times in the past 5 years when I have really stepped back and looked at my life and thought-finally. i'm finally settled. In a home, a relationship, a life routine. And each and every time, the jarring changes that fate eventually brought to me were unexpected and frightening. But they've always been necessary growing pains. Even if it took awhile for me to see them in their proper light.

And now here I stand. Embarking upon another adventure. Moving to a place that I never expected to live, with a friend that I never thought I would live with, and in a relationship that gives "unsettled" a whole new meaning. How could I have ever thought that I needed any other angel that Adventure? She is my girl. And I feel as though she may be for a long time.

So as I organize my life into sections-towels, pictures, wine glasses-I am equal parts bitter and grateful about my unsettled existence. Why are some people graced with a calm life where evreything falls effortlessly into place? Why is there home always warm and steady and their relationships secure? And why aren't mine? Why am I always moving and questioning? But then it shifts. How lucky am I to have ben given the gift of motion? To have lived and laughed with so many lovely people. To have experienced different cities and spaces. To have called so many places "home." To have Loved and have been Loved by so many incredible people. To know that my journey is still in its infancy and that I have so much to learn.

So when faced with these two forces-the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other-I'm going to go with that angel. Here's to another road...May she protect me and keep me strong and smiling...