Putting it Back Together
Hello Wednesday. i am taking a necessary break from my loooong workday to stop in and say hello. I have made a new commitment to this job. I know that i say that every other day at this point but I really am trying. I also need to get my act together and finish my Emmerson application and sign up for those damn GRE's. I am avoiding those like the plague. i do well on those kind of tests but I despise them! So unecessary.

i am feeling much better today. Keeping things together on the outside and hoping that the inside will catch up soon. My therapist is worried that I will try to get over it to fast and not mourn properly but I just can't sit here and cry anymore. What's done is done. He called me today and wants to "talk" but I'm just too tired of the drama. i'm looking for happiness, baby. Nothing more and nothing less. And it's just not here. Not in my line of sight anyway.

So what I've decided to do today to keep perspective is post this pic of one of my most favorite moments. Since Janessa had her sister as her maid of honor, she blessed me with a few very special tasks to make me feel special: cantoring mass, giving their toast and putting on her garter. This garter also has special meaning to us both b/c it belongs to Bren's aunt who has played such a huge role in all 3 of our lives over the years. It was such a wildly cool experience- placing this garter from someone that Loves us both so much onto her leg and looking up into this face that i have been Loving since I was 6 years old! Life surely is a cycle. Challenging yet beautiful. Joyous yet painful. No one would argue that it is all easy or that every day feels worth geting out of bed for. But i'll take my chances for moments like that...