Brendan and I at last year's Pre-Thanksgiving dinner
Thoughts for Today
Hello Tuesday. Here we all are. Today is a one of those days where I am battling with myself. Fighting against the anxiety that is stirring within me. these thoughts that threaten to take over my calm self assurance and turn me into fear-ridden shaking child. But I am winning the battle. I refused to take my ambien last night and actually managed to get about 5-6 hours of sleep. Very good for yours truly on days like this. One step for little old me.

I am feeling very needed lately and that makes me feel alive. I have been the needy one for months now and after demanding attention and support from my loved ones for what feels like an eternity it feels so invigorating to be the one that people are calling on for support, guidance and Love. My friend Brendan called me last night. He is the type of person that never wants to drop his strong happy facade. And when he does you feel honored to have been invited into his melancholy. It has been years since I have gotten a call like that from him. That was our MO for a long time but friendships change and we look to different people to fill the old roles. But last night we were us again. And it felt wonderful to remind him that sad is okay today. Natural, normal and sometimes soothing. And he listened. And i can only hope that i did some good.

Other than that just trying to make it through the work day without resigning. And so it goes....